February 1967

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08. February 1967 – The phases of a cold

I have some interesting things to tell you. It's about this cold. An extraordinary healing power ... All the phases in their most acute form, with the study of the process, and each phase gone through in a few hours, or a few minutes (depending on what it was). Usually, when you have a cold, you go through one phase, then another (you know how it is), then it goes lower down, then you cough, then... All that was gone through quickly, and in two days it was over. And with the whole process, but not the mentalized process, not at all: the vibratory process, showing how the Force comes, acts, and at once... Oh, it was very, very interesting, because there was the part played by the inconscient, the part played by conscious reactions, the part played by the will (tremendous, an enormous part), the part played by mental suggestion (tremendous too), and... the action of the supreme Vibration. The whole thing in detail, day and night, constantly; to such a point that at moments I stood still, like that, to follow the course. And it lasted (I saw you on Saturday) for... Sunday, Monday, Tuesday: those three days.

It's my fault it started; as I told you, I had complained about these sinuses which were a constant nuisance, and there was also that constant inflammation of the mouth and the throat. So it had its effect. I can't say it's fully over because there still remains a lot, quite a lot of the old habit, but it came with the intention of changing things.

And all this has been learned in detail from a vibratory point of view. It's very interesting, I haven't wasted my time!

Each illness represents its own vibratory mode. Each illness has its own vibratory mode; it represents a whole field of vibrations to be corrected. It's the EXACT measure of what in Matter resists the divine Influence — the exact measure, down to the atom.

Oh, how interesting it is, if you knew how interesting.... Take coughing, for instance (not in the chest, in the throat). So, the first vibration: an irritation that draws your attention in order to make you cough. It has a certain kind of vibration which we may call "pointed," but it's not violent: it's light, annoying. It's the first little vibration. So with that vibration: awakening of the attention in the surrounding consciousness (of the throat cells); then a refusal to accept the cough, a rejection here (in the throat), which at first almost causes nausea (all this is seen through a microscope, you understand, they are very tiny things). The attention is focused. Then, at that point, there are several possible factors, which are sometimes simultaneous and sometimes one drives away the other; one is anxiety: something goes wrong and there is apprehension at what's going to happen; the other is a will that nothing should be disturbed by the irritation; and then all of a sudden, the faith that the Force is capable of restoring order everywhere immediately (none of this is intellectual: it's vibrations).

Then, sometime yesterday morning, something very interesting occurred: a clear perception that the vast majority of the cells (in THIS CASE: I'm not talking about the whole body, I am talking about this particular spot — throat, nose, etc.), the vast majority of the cells still have a sort of feeling — which seems to be the result of innumerable experiences or of habits (it's both; not clearly one or the other, but both) — that Nature's force, that is to say, the nature governing the body, knows what needs to be done better than the divine Power: it's "used to it," it "knows better." That's how it is. And then, when this new consciousness which is being worked out in the physical being (the mind of the cells) has caught hold of that, oh, it was as if it had caught hold of an extraordinary revelation; it said, "Ah, I've got you, you culprit! You are the one who is preventing the transformation."

It was tremendously interesting. Tremendously interesting!

All this is magnified in order to be expressed, but it's on the scale of the body's cells. And there was something like a flash of luminous Power as soon as that was discovered: it came down like that, brrm! (gesture like a sword of light plunging into Matter)

And it hasn't gone away since then. To the extent that I tried to recall that state of consciousness in order to note it down in detail — it no longer exists.

Those actions are ... miraculous, but in tiny details, you see, which is why they don't look miraculous: because they are only actions in details.

The attitude taken by the cells, the action of the will, the habit of Nature, the Intervention — all that was seen minutely, phase after phase. Because these cells (in the throat) were complaining; they were the ones that said things weren't changing, that they remained as they were. They clearly saw that things were kept under control, but there was no sign of transformation. And that cold came as a magnifying glass, you understand. It came and magnified everything so it would become more visible and more easily observed. And the detail of all that's going on is, oh, really marvellous: it's a whole world, and they are tiny little things that generally go unobserved because we observe mentally. But like that... For instance, at a certain point during those successive phases, all the signs are there that the body's will is going to flag and that you are going either to faint or to fall "sick" for a while. Then comes the choice made within by the cells, which weigh up the possibilities from the standpoint of the progress of transformation: "What can act? What can be the most useful in order to produce the greatest result? Is it to yield and have an apparent fall (it's only apparent), and in that fall, to allow the Force to do its work without interference; or is it to follow the course of conscious transformation?" And that's where this marvellous discovery of the cells came in: they really felt Nature knew better (laughing) because it was used to it. That was exquisite! Admirable.

All this must be going on in everyone, only people are unconscious. It's the consciousness of the cells which has awakened, you understand. It's so interesting! And how illnesses can be avoided, how things... All this based on the experience of the UNREALITY OF APPEARANCES: a play is going on behind, which is altogether different from what we see or know.

I am now fully aware of the causes of allergy (studied in detail), and why cases of allergy are multiplying here in the Ashram. Naturally, it's based on... (Mother starts coughing and concludes:) Ah, forbidden topic.

(After a moment of silence, Mother resumes:) It's the nerves that become more and more receptive to the Force (and consequently, more and more sensitive), and they don't have the wisdom or equilibrium necessary to counterbalance the increase in sensitivity. But then, the doctors' treatment is idiotic! What would be needed is just the opposite: what's needed is (how can I put it?) to breathe wisdom and peace into the body, not to deaden it.

Yesterday evening, something amusing happened. I received some soups from Japan. It was all written in Japanese, impossible to read. When the doctor came (he comes every evening), I asked him, "Would you like to try a Japanese soup?" And I gave him a packet to take with him. Yesterday evening, when he came back, I asked him, "Did you taste the Japanese soup?" He said, "It's shellfish soup," and he added, "It's not good for you." I asked him, "Why is it not good for me?" (I asked him just for information, to know what my "illness" was(!), why I couldn't eat shellfish?) He answered me, "Oh, you would have an allergic reaction." Then I looked at him and, with great force, said to him, "I have NO allergic reactions." (Mother laughs) The poor man! He gave a shudder ... and he is down with fever!

It's true that now, as soon as the nerves (but you know, it's an observation of every second), as soon as the nerves start protesting ... and it happens very often when they are interested in a sensation: they become interested in a sensation, they concentrate and follow it, then suddenly, it exceeds ... (how should I put it?) the amount they are used to considering as pleasant (it can be put that way), so there's a slight tipping over and they start going wrong, they start protesting. But if there is observation, there is the action of the inner "mentor" that tells them, "Now, all sensations can be borne almost to their maximum: it's quite simply a bad habit and a lack of plasticity. Remain calm and you will see." (Something of the sort.) Then they are docile, they stay calm, and ... everything smoothes out. Smoothes out, and then ... the allergic reaction is over. So I think I've learned the knack! That's why I answered the doctor with such force.

It's very amusing. That's how you learn things.

Only, how to communicate this to people? I don't know.

It's a very subtle observation, so subtle.

At the same time, there is another factor (oh, there are several methods). You have a small material action to do (quite uninteresting in itself, but anyway, it has to be done) and there is precisely that inner disquiet which can cause things to tip over to the wrong side at any moment; if the consciousness — the total consciousness of the body — is busy with something else; it goes away without your noticing it. So there is this possibility: of keeping the consciousness interested in something else. But then the possibility of illness or disorder isn't cured. So it's a constant choice between the work of transformation and (or) an equilibrium sufficient to go on with the general work.

I could write volumes, it's very, very interesting. It's being organized.

11. February 1967 – A consciousness with foresight

Last night, for instance (I return to the outward consciousness two or three times in the night), I noticed V. had gone out. Naturally I saw the consequences and I was considering how I could manage. Well, I noticed (she went out around two; every day I get up at 4:30), I noticed that during those two and a half hours I didn't sleep ("didn't sleep," I mean I didn't exteriorize). And I wasn't "thinking" (thank God!), there was simply a kind of consciousness watching. And time went by with such fantastic speed that I was myself flabbergasted. I thought it was going to be a long wait before it was time to get up, at four-thirty, but it was absolutely timeless, absolutely timeless. Yet I remained in my body.

And then, this incident made me realize that I seem to be learning a way of resting without going out of the body. Because there, I was sure I was "awake," as it's called: there was nothing resembling sleep, and I wasn't thinking. There was only the consciousness watching, like that. But interiorized. And a will to get up at four-thirty. I looked at the time once in between (there was a clock near my bed, I looked at it), it was 3:15. I was surprised, I thought, "How come? It was 2:30 a minute ago." Then I made a slight concentration to be sure of being quite awake at 4:30. And at exactly 4:30: "How come? I've just seen it was 3:15!" It was astounding, because I didn't leave my body, I know I didn't sleep, and the consciousness was perfectly still, motionless, so to say; a consciousness concentrated like that (but a consciousness with "foresight," which sees what has to be done), simply like that, without thought.

It was so to say instantaneous.

It happens to me now and then during the day. I go into a certain state (it only lasts for a minute or two), a strange state: you are fully awake and fully conscious, and at the same time totally unaware of time and things around you... not exactly of things around you, but not conscious of them in the same way — I don't know how to explain.

15. February 1967 – Distortion of consciousness

What they lack is the sense of the fourth dimension, so they don't understand. There, everything holds together, in a very concrete, palpable way, the "outside" and the "inside".

Théon, for his part, insisted very much on adverse forces, while Sri Aurobindo didn't talk about them. So when I came here I asked him, "But do hostile beings and adverse forces exist?" He said to me, "Yes, they exist, but in order to master them it's easier to regard them as being outside, rather than inside as a part of your nature." He insisted on the One: everything is the One distorted to a greater or lesser extent, even the "adverse" forces. What we call "adverse forces" are, at bottom, distortions of consciousness. When those distortions predominate in a being, that is to say, when his nature obeys distorted influences and no longer responds to the divine influence, we may call it a "hostile being" (they do exist, God knows!). But here in India, they have insisted above all on the notion of Oneness. Of course, at the origin of the worlds a separation took place, but it's mainly the Tantrics who have insisted on that; they say that in order to re-form Godhead, the two poles must be reunited.... All this is words, a manner of speaking that fills the gaps and complements each other. And depending on the individuals, the times and countries, there were manners of speaking more or less pure, some closer than others. But all said and done... We could say that the Lord enjoys narrating Himself in all possible ways.

And when you are on the very lowest rung of the ladder of consciousness, those manners of speaking become increasingly concrete, absolute, hard, and exclusive of all that isn't themselves: those are religions.... Oh, by the way, it seems the Pope was approached about Auroville and he asked if there would be a Catholic church!... They put the question to me. I said, "No. No churches, no temples."

But it might be amusing if we put together one specimen of every religion from every country and every epoch. A city of religions, can you see that?... The totem pole next to the cathedral! Oh, that would be very amusing! All the ancient religions — the Egyptian, the Tyrian, the Scandinavian gods ... — and then the new religions.

It's a pity, men have too little sense of humour! Otherwise we could have great fun. It's a wonderful remedy.

We could arrange guided tours, just like Cook's tours (!) We would have a tour of religions, with all the statues and monuments. The explanations could be read out by some guide or other, but they would be prepared by someone with a slightly higher vision (oh, not a supramental vision, just a slightly higher one), and who would show human creeds and how men have shed blood in the name of "God."

The most bloodthirsty god is the most popular, I think. All the slaughters, all the horrors, all the tortures that have been committed in the name of God ...

It's a subject I found very interesting, in the beginning I even wanted to give a class on it, when the School had only thirty children or so: a class on religions showing the whole course, from the gods with the heads of birds or jackals to cathedrals. Oh, when I was just five, I was revolted by that "God" who really was a wicked character and caused bloodshed.

So we could have a "city of religions." But we would have to re-create the atmosphere.

We would have to re-create the atmosphere and have a temple, churches, a cathedral, a totem pole ... (laughing) We'd entrust the Greek temple to Ananta! That would be really unique on earth.

But you know, there are still so many fanatics — more than we think. You would think all that has disappeared with modern development — not at all.

The farther I go, the more I have a perception of a Harmony. A harmony, that is, a vision of the Whole in which everything is in its place: qualities, movements, even forms. It's something being worked out, a vision being worked out.

Yet outwardly, it's apparent chaos.... You know, an equilibrium is made up of a multitude of interlockings which hold together creating stability. But when you want to move on to a higher equilibrium, all that must be disintegrated, so to speak (gesture of a pyramid being flattened), then encompassed in a broader way, and all the interlockings must be formed again on a higher level. It's the transition from one to the other that's difficult. The disequilibrium is what prepares a new equilibrium.

We are in the middle of the chaos.

And the only solution at such a time is to draw back, as it were (gesture of drawing within), and hang on unshakeably to something higher, fasten on to it while the hurricane passes by. Then you can go through.

18. Feb 1967 – The need of a new language; mediocrity & suppleness

All these last days I have been considering the proportion that should be maintained between what was accomplished and established in the past and the attitude of complete acceptance of what comes from the future.

There is obviously in Nature a tendency to want a slow transformation from what was habitually regarded as "good" (expressive, good, harmonious) to the new Thing. And I was observing the extent to which there is attachment: the attachment of habit, something very spontaneous and uncalculating. Then recently (yesterday), I had an amusing example.

And really, what we want... we know that we need, not an artificially new language, but something supple enough to be able to adapt to the needs of a new CONSCIOUSNESS; and that's probably how that language will emerge, from a number of old languages, through the elimination of habits.

What's specific to each language (apart from a few differences in words) is the order in which ideas are presented: the construction of sentences. The Japanese (and especially the Chinese) have solved the problem by using only the sign of the idea. Now, under the influence from outside, they have added phonetic signs to build a sentence; but even now the order in the construction of the ideas is different. It's different in Japan and different in China. And unless you FEEL this, you can never know a foreign language really well. So we speak according to our very old habit (and basically it's more convenient for us simply because it comes automatically). But when I "receive," for instance, it's not even a thought: it's Sri Aurobindo's formulated consciousness; then, there is a sort of progressive approximation of the expression, and sometimes it comes very clearly; but very often it's a spontaneous mixture of French and English forms and I feel it is something else trying to be expressed. At times (it follows the notation), it makes me correct something; at other times it comes perfectly well — it depends.... Oh, it depends on the limpidity. If you are very tranquil, it comes very well. And there, too, I see it's not really French and not really English. It's not so much the words (words are nothing) as the ORDER in which things come up. And when afterwards I look at it objectively, I see it's in part the order in which they come in French, and in part the order in which they come in English. And the result is a mixture, which is neither one language nor the other, and endeavours to express... what might be called "a new way of consciousness."

It leads me to think that something will be worked out that way, and that any too strict, too narrow attachment to the old rules is a hindrance to the evolution of expression. From that point of view, French is a long way behind English — English is much more supple. But the languages in countries like China and Japan that use ideograms seem to be infinitely more supple than our own.

They can express new ideas and new things far more easily through the juxtaposition of signs.

But now, with this "new logic" and "new mathematics," a whole set of new signs is beginning to be universal, that is to say, the same signs express the same ideas or things in all countries, whatever language is used in the country, quite independently.

These new thoughts and new experiences, this new logic and new mathematics, are now taught in higher studies, but all the primary and secondary studies have remained in the old formula, so I have been very seriously thinking of opening primary and secondary schools in Auroville, based on the new system — as a trial.

It can only be done ... This is my experience: if I want to express clearly what Sri Aurobindo says (he doesn't "say," I don't know how to explain it... it's his consciousness doing this — gesture of projection — expressing itself), well, first the mind must be silent, that goes without saying. But the difficulty is the passage to expression; that's what I have studied and where I have seen the extent of that sort of spontaneous and automatic attachment to the old habits.

So what should be done there (and what I am trying to do) is the same work of receptive silence and to let inspiration, the inspirational consciousness, gather the necessary elements. For that we must be very tranquil. We must be very supple, in the sense of surrendered; I mean, allow as little habitual activity as possible to mix in — be almost like an automaton. But with the full perception of the consciousness trying to be expressed, so that nothing gets mixed in with it. That's the most important thing: to receive this consciousness and hold it like... really like something sacred, without anything getting mixed in with it, like that. So then, there is a problem of attraction, we could say, and of concretization in the formula. I always tell myself that if I knew many languages, it would make use of all that; unfortunately I know only two (I "know" only two thoroughly) and I have only very superficial and minimal glimpses of two or three others — that's not enough. Only, I have been in contact with very different methods: the method of the Far East and the Sanskrit method, and of course the methods of the West. It does give a sort of base, but it's not sufficient — I am at the opposite extreme from erudition. I have always felt that erudition shrivels up thought — it parches the brain. (But I have great respect for scholars, oh! indeed, and I seek their advice, but... for myself it won't do!)

Once, very long ago, when Sri Aurobindo was telling me about himself, that is, of his childhood, his education, I put the question to him, I asked him, "Why am I, as an individual being, so mediocre? I can do anything; all that I have tried to do I have done, but never in a superior way: always like this (gesture to an average level)." Then he answered me (at the time I took it as a kindness or commiseration), "That's because it gives great suppleness — a great suppleness and a vast scope; because those who have perfection are concentrated and specialized." As I said, I took it simply like a caress to comfort a child. But now I realize that the most important thing is not to have any fixity: nothing should be set, definitive, like the sense of a perfection in the realization — that puts a total stop to the forward march. The sense of incapacity (with the meaning I said of mediocrity, of something by no means exceptional) leaves you in a sort of expectation (gesture of aspiration upward) of something better. And then, the most important thing is suppleness — suppleness, suppleness. Suppleness and breadth: reject nothing as useless or bad or inferior — nothing; set nothing up as really superior and beautiful — nothing. Remain ever open, ever open.

The ideal is to have this suppleness and receptivity and surrender, that is, so total an acceptance of the Influence that no matter what comes the instrument adapts itself instantly to express it naturally, spontaneously and effortlessly. With everything, of course: with the plastic arts, with music, with writing.

(silence)

The nature (of Mother) was rather shy, and as a matter of fact, there wasn't much confidence in the personal capacity (although there was the sense of being able to do anything, if the need arose). Till the age of twenty or twenty-one I spoke very little, and never, never anything like a speech. I wouldn't take part in conversations: I would listen, but speak very little.... Then I was put in touch with Abdul Baha (the "Bahai"), who was then in Paris, and a sort of intimacy grew between us. I used to go to his gatherings because I was interested. And one day (when I was in his room), he said to me, "I am sick, I can't speak; go and speak for me." I said, "Me! But I don't speak." He replied, "You just have to go there, sit quietly and concentrate, and what you have to say will come to you. Go and do it, you will see." Well then (laughing), I did as he said. There were some thirty or forty people. I went and sat in their midst, stayed very still, and then... I sat like that, without a thought, nothing, and suddenly I started speaking. I spoke to them for half an hour (I don't even know what I told them), and when it was over everybody was quite pleased. I went to find Abdul Baha, who told me, "You spoke admirably." I said, "It wasn't me!" And from that day (I had got the knack from him, you understand!), I would stay like that, very still, and everything would come. It's especially the sense of the "I" that must be lost — that's the great art in everything, for everything, for everything you do: for painting, for... (I did painting, sculpture, architecture even, I did music), for everything, but everything, if you are able to lose the sense of the "I," then you open yourself to... to the knowledge of the thing (sculpture, painting, etc.). It's not necessarily beings, but the spirit of the thing that uses you.

Well, I think it should be the same thing with language. One should be tuned in to someone in that way, or through that someone to something still higher: the Origin. And then, very, very passive. But not inertly passive: vibrantly passive, receptive, like that, attentive, letting "that" come in and be expressed. The result would be there to see.... As I said, we are limited by what we know, but that may be because we're still too much of a "person"; if we could be perfectly plastic it might be different: there have been instances of people speaking in a language they didn't know, consequently...

It's interesting.

With everything, the great secret is for the consciousness to be... THE Consciousness — the limitless Consciousness. Then what it does is to set this (the instrument) in motion. Later — later, when the transformation takes place, when it's total and effective, there will probably be a conscious collaboration; but now it's only a surrender, a self-giving, and this lends itself — lends itself with enthusiasm and joy — lends itself for THE Consciousness to use it.

When it's like that, all goes well.

All the old habits, oh!...

And looking at it from this angle, you realize the total absurdity of judgments, which are more than ninety-nine per cent based on old habits: the old habits of what you regard as good or bad, useful or harmful, and so on. An automatic judgment, automatic acceptance or refusal ...

That story of little S. has taught me much. Because I saw that little girl this morning. She is black-skinned, of course — she was all luminous. All luminous. And I don't think she is conscious of it (perhaps only insofar as Y. has flattered her — that's always possible), but it's very spontaneous in her, she wasn't trying to put on airs, she didn't come to strike a pose: she simply came to take the fruit and flower for Thoth. She was here in front of my table; when I saw her come in I said, "Strange." This little girl who is so black-skinned... she was clearer than others.

25. February 1967 – Consciousness and Faith

Do you think Nature will ever invent something better than this?... I don't think so.

It's beautiful, this Nature! I find it more beautiful than animals. From the point of view of consciousness, it's obviously more limited; a plant doesn't have the consciousness an animal has — they have this aspiration towards the light, but the consciousness isn't precise. But from the point of view of material organization it's incomparable. Take a tree like this one (the coconut tree under Mother's window), I see it all the time, this tree, it's wonderful! And how it struggles, how it works, how it produces ...

From the point of view of beauty, I mean material harmony, the Mind has spoilt things a lot, quite a lot (at least that's my impression).

How will it be?... Because nothing I have seen from the point of view of form, has the richness, variety, unexpectedness, beauty of colour and form that this rose has. I have seen things, I have seen supramental realizations — from the point of view of consciousness, they are infinitely superior, without a doubt, but from the point of view of form ...

From the point of view of consciousness, the beings I saw for instance, when they wanted to be covered in a certain way (you know, clothed), they did it through willpower; from the point of view of consciousness, that's certainly incomparable, there's no possible comparison, but ...

Of course, one can clothe oneself in a marvellous way.

We may say that all experiences tend towards a single revelation — that consciousness alone exists. And that it is the decision or choice (the words are inaccurate), a decision of the consciousness that creates the form — all forms, from the most subtle to the most material ones; and the material world, the apparent fixity of the material world results from a distortion or a darkening of the consciousness, which has lost the sense of its all-powerfulness.

This distortion has been still more pronounced since the advent of the mind, which in its working, has taken the place of consciousness so much that it has substituted itself for consciousness as it were, and to the extent that the mind, in its ordinary working, cannot be distinguished from consciousness — it doesn't know what consciousness is, and so ... (Mother makes a gesture expressing a shrinking or hardening).

It's becoming very, very precise, very clear, very visible in the developed human mind. For the functioning of the body, for example, the difference between the action and perception of the consciousness, and the action and perception of the mind. And in our world as it's still organized, the mind is more ... (oh, it is a very interesting impression) much more concrete — "concrete" in the sense of what we are in the habit (the bad habit) of calling "real" — and fixed. It's not translucent, not fluid; it's not plastic, not fluid: it's mental, concrete. And then, the mind needs acquired knowledge and all the contacts with the outside.... Let's take a disorder in the body's functioning (which may come for all kinds of reasons that are very interesting to observe, but anyhow, we can't speak of everything at the same time), the disorder is there and is expressed through a sense of discomfort; the way the consciousness behaves and acts and the way the mind behaves and acts are entirely, absolutely different (we can't say opposite, but absolutely different). Then there is the weakness (I am talking about the sensation of the body itself), the weakness arising from old habit. It's not a lack of faith, the body knows in an almost absolute way that there is only one salvation, one saviour: THE Consciousness. But there is a weakness that causes a sort of slackening, a letting go to habit, and that's where an intensity of faith is needed — but an energy in the faith — in order not to yield. This goes on in a very small sphere, you understand, it's a question ... not even of minutes — of seconds. And if there is a letting go, it means illness; while the other way (of the consciousness) means, little by little, little by little, the unreality of the disorder.

But it means an intensity of faith which, compared to the present state of mankind, may be regarded as miraculous.

And the acceptance of illness is the acceptance of the usual end, which is generally called "death" (that doesn't mean anything), but anyway, it means that the aggregate is unable to be transformed and is dissolved.

These are things (those "seconds") that happen very often, and without any relationship whatever to outer circumstances. Which means that if one were all alone — all alone, immobile, in meditation — it would be more radical and definitive. But it's mixed in with the movement of life, with outer circumstances, and because of the necessities of those outer circumstances it goes more or less unnoticed. So the result is less complete, only partial, and so it recurs again and again, it's renewed.... It stretches over a considerable time.

(silence)

All this has a meaning, truly a meaning, only if we reach the end.

The end, is consciousness reassuming its power.

But even if the effect is not total or general, I mean for the whole earth, even on one point it will still have a tremendous effect.

There, we must be patient.