AGENDA 1967

November 1967


08. November 1967 – What makes us old!

It is not the number of years you have lived that makes you old. You become old when you stop progressing. As soon as you feel you have done what you had to do, as soon as you think you know what you ought to know, as soon as you want to sit and enjoy the results of your effort, with the feeling you have worked enough in life, then at once you become old and begin to decline. When, on the contrary, you are convinced that what you know is nothing compared to all that remains to be known, when you feel that what you have done is just the starting point of what remains to be done, when you see the future like an attractive sun shining with innumerable possibilities yet to be achieved, then you are young, howsoever many are the years you have passed upon earth, young and rich with all the realisations of tomorrow. And if you do not want your body to fail you, avoid wasting your energies in useless agitation. Whatever you do, do it in a quiet and composed poise. In peace and silence is the greatest strength.

10. November 1967 – Mother’s message for January

(Mother reads out the message she intends to distribute for January 1, 1968:)

"Remain young.
 Never stop striving towards perfection."

15. November 1967 – About transformation

I never believed it could come quickly. First of all, if one tries, as I do, with one's own body, to see the difference between matter as it is, its constitution as it is, and... well, and what we can conceive of as a divine existence — "divine," that is, not tied down every second to the darkness of a nearly unconscious matter.... How long will it take? How long did it take to change the stone into the plant, the plant into the animal, the animal...? We don't know, but the way things are going... Now that they are so smart in calculating, when do they reckon the earth was formed? How many billions of years ago? All that time just to be where we are.

Naturally, the farther we go, the faster things move, that's understood, but fast... How fast?

It's not a question of natural. Nature has organized things progressively for the manifestation of consciousness, which means that the whole work has been to prepare the Inconscient in such a way that it may become conscious. Now, of course, the consciousness is there at least to a great extent; so things are moving much faster, that is, the greater part of the work is done. But still, as I said, when you see to what extent we are bound to Unconsciousness, to a semi-vague consciousness, and how those who don't know still feel "fatality," "fate," what they call "Nature" and all that dominates and governs them, well, for the final change to take place, all that must become fully conscious, and not merely in the mental way — that's not enough — but in the divine way! So, much remains to be done.

That's precisely what I see every day with this poor little body and everything around it (seething gesture), all this substance, oh... nothing but illnesses, miseries, disorders, oh! All that has nothing to do with the Divine! An unconscious mass.

But Sri Aurobindo said (I read it two days ago, I don't know where he wrote it because it was a quotation) that if the divine Consciousness, the divine Power, the divine Love, the Truth, were to manifest on earth too rapidly, the earth would be dissolved! It couldn't bear it... brrf!

I am interpreting, but there's the idea!

(Mother laughs) The small dose is always there, there's always a small dose! Even a rather strong dose, and if one looks at That one feels a sense of marvel. And it's precisely because of That that one still sees... how things are.

You know, not a day passes without the observation that, not a dose, but a tiny little drop, an infinitesimal drop of That can cure you in a minute ("it can," it CURES you, it's not that "it can"), that you are constantly in precarious balance and the slightest faltering means disorder and the end, while just a drop of That... and it becomes light and progress. The two extremes. The two extremes side by side.

It's something one observes at least several times a day.

Naturally, if the purpose of this instrument (Mother) were to observe, explain, describe, it could speak marvels, but you see... I think... I don't know, but it seems to be the first time that the instrument, instead of being made to bring the "News," the "Revelation," to give a flash of light, was made... to try and realize: to do the work, the obscure task. So it observes, but it doesn't go blissfully into the joy of observation, and it is forced to see at each minute how much work, IN SPITE OF THAT, remains to be done!... And so it won't be able to rejoice until the work is done — what does "the work is done" mean? Something is ESTABLISHED. This divine Presence, this divine Consciousness, this divine Truth manifests like that, in flashes, and then... everything goes along in its own sweet way — there is a change, but an imperceptible one. Well, for it (the body), it's all very well, I suppose that's what gives it heart and a kind of smiling peace despite the result being quite unsatisfying; but that can't satisfy it, it will only be satisfied... when the thing is done, that is, when what is now a revelation — a dazzling but short-lived revelation — becomes an established fact; when there really will be divine bodies, divine beings who will deal with the world in a divine way. Then... then it will say, yes, that's it, but not before. Well, I don't think that can be for right now.

Because I see, I clearly see what is now at work.... I told you, there are things which, yes, if I were destined to speak and explain and prophesy, we could build a whole teaching — with just ONE of those experiences, and I have at least several of them every day. But it's useless, of course, I know that!

It's not impatience, it's not even a lack of satisfaction, it's not that at all, it is... a Force, a Will advancing step by step, which won't stop to discourse and take pleasure in what has been done.

(silence)

Is there somewhere on earth a really divine being, that is to say, not ruled by any law of Unconsciousness?... It seems to me we'd know it. If he existed and I didn't know it, I would have to tell myself that, if that is the case, I must have a really great insincerity somewhere.

To tell the truth, it's not a question I ask myself.

In all those who are known, all those who have taken the stand of "revealers of the new world" or "realizers of the new life," in all of them the proportion of inconscient is still far larger than mine, so... But that's only what is publicly known: is there somewhere a being unknown to all?... I would be surprised if there were no communication. I don't know.

There are many, many of them you know, a whole crop of new Christs, Kalkis (The last Avatar, in Hindu tradition), supermen, ooh! so many of them, but generally, communication is made somehow or other, at any rate their existence is known; well, among them, among all those with whom I have been in contact either invisibly or visibly, there isn't one who has... (how should I put it?) less inconscient than there is in this body — but I acknowledge there is a lot, oh!

I tell you, the response is like this: there is a sudden perception (oh, all these things are very subtle, very subtle — but precisely, for the consciousness they are very concrete), the perception of a sort of disorganization, like a current of disorganization; at first the substance making up the body feels it, then it sees the effect, then everything starts being disorganized: that disorganization is what prevents the cohesion necessary for the cells to constitute an individual body, so then you know, "Ah (gesture of dissolution), it'll be the end." Then the cells aspire, there is a sort of central consciousness of the body which aspires intensely, with as complete a surrender as it can make: "Your Will, Lord, Your Will, Your Will...." Then there is a kind of... not something thunderous, not a dazzling flash, but a sort of... well, the impression is of a densification of that current of disorganization; and then something comes to a halt: first there is a peace, then a light, then Harmony — and the disorder has vanished. And once the disorder has vanished, there is instantly IN THE CELLS a sense of living eternity, of living for eternity.

Well, that experience, such as I've told you, with the whole intensity of concrete reality, occurs not only daily, but several times a day. At times it's very severe, that is, like a mass; at other times, it's only like something that touches; then, in the body consciousness, it's expressed like this, with a sort of thanksgiving: one more progress made over Unconsciousness. But those aren't thunderous events, the human neighbour isn't even aware of them; he may note a sort of cessation in the outward activity, a concentration, but that's all. (At such times, Mother would become white and could often be seen placing the palms of her hands over her eyes.) So of course, you don't talk about it, you can't write books about it, you don't do propaganda.... That's how the work goes.

None of the mental aspirations are satisfied with that.

It's a very obscure work.

(Mother goes into a long contemplation)

There were two tall candles, like this, and three small ones, all lit.... What could it mean? All five were burning. What can it mean? I don't know. Two were tall like this, burning, and it was all in a colour... neither red nor yellow, it was orangey, but transparent, and they were like candles burning between us.

Two tall ones and three small ones. I don't know what it signifies.

They were burning slowly, like this (still gesture), without any air current, very quietly.

It remained for a long time.

(long silence)

One or two days ago, I don't know, there was a sort of general vision of this striving of the earth towards its divinization, and someone seemed to be saying (not "someone": it was the witness-consciousness, the consciousness observing, but it gets formulated in words — very often it's formulated in English and I have a kind of impression that it is Sri Aurobindo, his active consciousness, but sometimes it gets translated into words only in my consciousness), and these last few days, it was something saying, "Yes, the time of proclamations, the time of revelations is past — now, on to action."

Proclamations, revelations, prophecies, all that is after all very comfortable, it gives a sense of something "concrete"; now it's very obscure, there is a sense that it's very obscure, invisible (it will be visible only in results far, far ahead), and not understood.

Not understood, of course.... Someone, C., wanted to translate Notes on the Way and A Propos into Hindi, in one volume. He spoke to R. about it, and R. wrote to me, "People don't understand anything," and he feels "the human language is unfit to express that, so how will it turn out in a translation? — A platitude. It would be better to wait." I fully agree, I told him it would be better to wait. But it gave me the exact measure. Because R. and C. are people who are expected to understand, and they clearly don't understand anything. And then, Nolini was there, I gave him the letter to read, and he said, "Oh, yes!" — For him too it's the same thing, he hasn't understood! So it's general. Because many people quote to me what I have said, or experiences they've had, explanations they give "in accordance with" those Notes on the Way, and every time I see that they haven't understood ANYTHING.

So it seems to me to be a general incomprehension.

(silence)

It belongs to a region which isn't yet ready to be explained, manifested in words.

It's obvious, I see it clearly, you know: it's because they are all quite nice and full of respect that they don't allow their mind to say, "This is drivel," but for them it belongs to the incomprehensible.

And in fact, insofar as it's truly new, it is incomprehensible. What I say doesn't correspond to a lived experience in the one who reads.

I see clearly, so clearly the little work, like this (gesture of reversal), which would turn the thing into a prophetic revelation! A little work, a slight reversal in the mind — the experience is wholly outside the mind, so what can be said about it is... (Mother shakes her head). Precisely because it's not mental, it's nearly incomprehensible, and for it all to become (oh, it's visible), for it all to become accessible, it would take just (same gesture) a slight reversal in the mind, and then it would become prophetic. But that... isn't possible. It would lose its truth.

Well, it's on the way.

22. November 1967 – Prayer of the cells in the body

THE PRAYER OF THE CELLS IN THE BODY

Now that by the effect of the Grace we are slowly emerging out of inconscience and waking up to a conscious life, an ardent prayer rises in us for more light, more consciousness:

"O Supreme Lord of the Universe, "we implore Thee, give us "the strength and the beauty, "the harmonious perfection "needed to be Thy divine instruments upon earth."

It's a tremendous progress! The thought had never occurred to them, never; taken as a whole, they had never thought of the transformation: their thought was to become the best athletes in the world and all the usual nonsense.

The body, you see, they've asked for a prayer of the BODY. They have come to understand that the body must begin to transform itself into something else. Previously, they were all full of the whole history of physical culture in every country, in which country it's most developed, the use of the body as it is, and... and so on. Anyway, it was the Olympic ideal. Now, they have leaped beyond: that is the past, now they want the transformation.

You understand, people were asking to be divine in their mind and vital — that is, the whole ancient history of spirituality, the same old theme for centuries — but now, it's the BODY. It's the body that asks to participate. It's certainly a progress.

The same consciousness which was the vital's and the mind's monopoly has become corporeal: the consciousness acts in the body's cells.

The body's cells become something conscious, entirely conscious.

A consciousness which is independent, absolutely independent of the vital consciousness or the mental consciousness: it's a corporeal consciousness.

(silence)

And this physical mind, which Sri Aurobindo said was an impossibility, that it was something that goes round in circles and would go on turning round forever, without consciousness, precisely, like a sort of machine, this physical mind has been converted, it has fallen silent, and in silence it has received inspiration from the Consciousness. And it has started praying again: the same prayers that were earlier in the mind.

But since it's taking place in one body, it can take place in all bodies! I am not made of anything different from others. The difference is the consciousness, that's all. It's made of exactly the same thing, with the same elements, I eat the same things, and it was made in just the same way.

And it was as stupid, as obscure, as unconscious, as stubborn as all the other bodies in the world.

It began when the doctors declared I was seriously ill, that was the beginning. (The turning point of March 16, 1962, culminating on April 13, 1962: the great pulsations.) Because the entire body was emptied of its habits and forces, and then, slowly, slowly, the cells woke up to a new receptivity and opened directly to the divine Influence.

Every cell is vibrating.

Otherwise, it would be hopeless! If this matter, which began as... Even a stone is already an organization; it was certainly worse than a stone: the inert, absolute Inconscient. Then, little by little, little by little, it awakens. One can see it, you know, one sees it: one just has to open one's eyes to see it. Well, the same thing is now taking place: for the animal to become a man, it didn't take anything more than the infusion of a consciousness — a mental consciousness — and now, it's the awakening of that consciousness which was there, deep down, in the very depths. The mind has withdrawn, the vital has withdrawn, everything has withdrawn; when I was supposedly ill, the mind had gone away, the vital had gone away, and the body was left to itself — purposely. And that's why, it's precisely because the vital and mind had gone that it looked like a very serious illness. And then, in the body left to itself, the cells little by little started awakening to the consciousness (gesture of a rising aspiration); once those two had gone, the consciousness which had been infused into the body THROUGH the vital (from the mind to the vital and from the vital to the body) started slowly, slowly emerging. It began with that burst of Love right at the top, from the extreme, supreme altitude; then, little by little, little by little, it came down to the body. Then that sort of physical mind, that is, something totally and completely idiotic going round and round in circles, forever repeating the same thing over and over again, became clear little by little and grew conscious, organized, then fell silent. And then in that silence, the aspiration expressed itself in prayers.

(silence)

It's a denial of all the spiritual assertions of the past: "If you want to live fully conscious of the divine life, leave your body — the body cannot follow." Well, Sri Aurobindo came and said, "Not only can the body follow, but it can be the base that will manifest the Divine."

The work remains to be done.

But now there is a certitude. The result is still very far — very far off, there is much to do before the crust, the outermost surface experience as it is, can manifest what takes place within (not "within" in the spiritual depths: within in the body). For it to be able to manifest what is within... That will come last, which is very good because if it came earlier, we would neglect the work; we would be so happy that we'd forget to complete the work. Everything must have been done within, everything must be fully and thoroughly changed, then the outside will express it.

But it's all ONE SINGLE substance, the very same everywhere, which was unconscious everywhere; and so, the remarkable thing is that things are taking place AUTOMATICALLY (gesture of points scattered throughout the world), completely unexpected things, here and there, even in people who don't know anything.

(silence)

These material cells had to gain the capacity to receive and manifest the consciousness; and what permits a radical transformation is that instead of an ascent which is so to speak eternal and indefinite, there is the appearance of a new type — a descent from above. The previous descent was a mental one, while this is what Sri Aurobindo calls a "supramental descent"; the impression is, a descent of the supreme Consciousness infusing itself into something capable of receiving and manifesting it. Then, out of that, once it has been thoroughly kneaded (there's no knowing how much time it will take), a new form will be born, which will be the form Sri Aurobindo called supramental — it will be... no matter what, I don't know what those beings will be called.

What will be their mode of expression? How will they make themselves understood and so on?... In man, it developed very slowly. Only, mind has done a lot of kneading and, after all, has made things advance fasten.

How will we get there?... There will certainly be stages in the manifestation with, perhaps, a specimen that will come and say, "Here is how it is." (Mother looks in front of her) One can see that.

Only, when man emerged from the animal, there was no way to record — to note and record the process; now it's quite different, so it will be more interesting.

(silence)

But even at this moment in time, the vast majority — the vast majority — of human intellectuality is perfectly satisfied being busy with itself, satisfied with its little progress like this (Mother draws a microscopic circle). It doesn't even, doesn't even have a desire for something else!

Which means the advent of the superhuman being may well... it may very well go unnoticed, or not be understood. We can't say, because there is no analogy; it's obvious that if one of the apes, the large apes, had met the first man, he would simply have felt he was a somewhat... strange being, that's all. But now it's different because man thinks, reasons.

But anything higher than him man has been used to thinking of as... divine beings; that is to say, bodiless beings, appearing in the light, anyway all the gods in human conception — but it's not that at all!

When you make music or when you paint, you very clearly perceive how the consciousness permeates the cells and those cells become conscious. This experience, for example: there are objects in a box, and you say to your hand, "Take twelve of them." The hand goes like that, without your bothering about it, and it finds the twelve (without counting, just like that), it takes the twelve and gives them to you. That's an experience I had long ago; when I was twenty I began with experiences of that kind, consequently I know, I knew how the consciousness works. You understand, it's impossible to learn the piano or painting without the consciousness coming into the hands, and the hands become conscious INDEPENDENTLY of the brain — the brain may be busy elsewhere, it doesn't matter in the least. Besides, that's what happens in those people we call "sleepwalkers": they have a consciousness belonging to their body, which makes them move about and do things quite independently of the mind and the vital.

And it's the body that aspires, the body that says the mantra, the body that wants the light, the body that wants the consciousness — you yourself may be thinking of something else, Tom, Dick or Harry or a book or anything, it doesn't matter.

But now I understand, I understand very well! In the beginning I didn't understand, I thought I had been made supposedly very ill in order to stop the life I led downstairs (Since the "illness" of 1962, Mother has not left her rooms upstairs.) — the life I now lead is far busier than the one I led downstairs, therefore... I wondered why, whether it was a transitional phase. But now I understand: cut off — I would keep fainting. What made the doctor declare that I was ill is that I couldn't take a step without fainting: if I wanted to walk from here to there, poff! I would faint on the way; I had to be held so that my body wouldn't fall down. So the doctor's decision: to bed and no moving. But on my part, not for one minute did I lose consciousness! I would faint but remain conscious, I would see my body and know I had fainted; I didn't lose consciousness, the body didn't lose consciousness. So now I understand! The body was cut off from the vital and the mind and left to its own means; and then little by little, little by little...

I remember, for instance, all that the doctors do: they give you vitamins, this and that. All right. So as soon as I had taken those vitamins, I saw that sort of physical mind start stirring and stirring and stirring: "Vitamins," I said, "I don't want them, they excite the brain." Then they changed and gave me something at another time, and that was good. And all that, all of it was simply THE BODY: all that it knew, all the experiences it had had, all the mastery from what was in all the states of being, from the vital to the mind and above, all of that was gone! And this poor body was left to itself. Then, naturally, little by little something was rebuilt. For a long time I remained unable... unable to do hardly anything (a little bit, but hardly anything), but gradually it was all rebuilt, rebuilt, rebuilt: a conscious, purely conscious being — which is now chattering away! (It was unable to express itself.)

Yes, I understand. I understand. Well, perhaps that is what Sri Aurobindo meant when he said to me, "Your body is at present the only one on earth that can do this work." I thought it was a kindness on his part.... But it's true that it was cut off, I knew it — I saw it — cut off, the states of being were sent away: "Go away, you are not wanted anymore." Then the body had to rebuild a life for itself. And instead of having to go through all those states of being as it did before, through successive awakenings (gesture of ascent from degree to degree, in the way of the yogis of old), right to the top, the topmost beyond the form, now it's no longer that at all, the body no longer needs anything of all that, it simply has... (gesture of a rising aspiration opening out like a flower). Something within opened and developed, which caused that idiotic mind to become organized and capable of falling silent in an aspiration. And then... then there was the direct Contact, without intermediaries — the direct contact. That it now has constantly. Constantly, constantly, constantly, the direct contact. And it's THE BODY: it doesn't go through all kinds of things and states of being, not at all, it's direct.

But once that has been done (this is something Sri Aurobindo had said), once ONE body has done it, it has the capacity of passing it on to others; and I tell you, there is now (I am not saying in its totality and in detail, probably not), but here and there (scattered gesture to show various points on earth) people suddenly get one experience or another. Some of them (the majority) get frightened, so naturally it goes away — that is because they weren't prepared enough within (if it's not the little routine of every minute, always the same, they get frightened), and once they get frightened it's over, it means they will need years of preparation for the experience to recur. But still, some aren't; frightened; suddenly, an experience: "Ah!..." something wholly new, wholly unexpected, which they had never thought of.

It's contagious. That I know. And it's the only hope, because if everyone had to go through the same experience again... Well, I am ninety now — at the age of ninety people are tired, they've had enough of life. To do this work one must feel as young as a small child.

It takes a long time; I can see that it has taken a long time.

And it isn't done, of course, it's BEING done — it isn't done, far from it. Far from it... What's the proportion of conscious cells? We don't know.

From time to time, some of the cells scold the others, that's very funny! They scold them, they catch hold of them, make silly remarks (in their own way) to those which want... (Mother draws a tiny circle) to go on with the old habits: digestion must be done in a certain way, absorption must be done in a certain way, circulation must be done in a certain way, breathing must... all the functions have to be done according to Nature's method. And when it isn't like that, they are worried. Then those which know catch hold of them and give them a good bombardment of the Lord, it's very funny!

There is something that renders into words (it's wordless, but something in there renders into words), and so there are conversations between the cells (Mother laughs): "You fool, why are you afraid? Don't you see it's the Lord doing this to transform you?" Then the other: "Ah!..." And then it falls quiet, opens out, and waits. And... the pain goes away, the disorder goes away, and then everything works out.

It's admirable.

But if, by some mischance, the mind intervenes, starts watching or judging, then everything stops and everything falls back into the old habit.

(long silence)

Basically, it's the vital ego, mental ego, etc., it's all of that which was — poff! — taken away.

It was a radical operation.

So now there is a sort of suppleness and plasticity. And all this is learning (it's very much in touch with everything (horizontal gesture)), it's learning to find its whole support, its whole strength, its whole knowledge, its whole light, its whole will, everything like that (vertical gesture, turned to the Supreme), exclusively like that, in an extraordinary plasticity.

And then — the splendour of the Presence.

29. November 1967 – The body’s knowledge

The body itself has more than an impression, it's... a sort of knowledge — more than a knowledge, it's, well, a fact: there are lots and lots of beings, forces, personalities that manifest through it, at times even several at once. That's a very common experience. For instance, the experience that Sri Aurobindo is here, and that he speaks and sees, with his own way of seeing (piercing and ironic gesture) and his way of expressing himself — that happens very often. Often too, it's Durga, or Mahakali, or... very often. Often, what manifests is a being from very high up, very permanent — very permanent — and then there comes into the being a sort of absoluteness. At times, it's beings from a nearby plane trying to make themselves felt, to express themselves, but that's under control.

The body is used to it, you understand.

But the strange thing was that this time, on the 24th, when I went to the balcony, it was someone... (and that happens to me now and then, more and more frequently) someone looking on from a sort of plane of eternity, with, mingled in it, a great benevolence (something like benevolence, I don't know how to express it), but with an absolute calm, almost indifference, and the two are together looking on like that (Mother draws waves far away below), as though it were seen from far away, far above, far... (how should I put it?) seen from such an eternal vision. That was what my body felt when I went out for the balcony. So the body said, "But I have to aspire, there must be an aspiration for the Force to descend on all these people!" And "That" was like that (sovereign gesture above), oh, so benevolent, but with a sort of indifference — the indifference of eternity, I don't know how to explain it. And the body feels it all as something making use of it.

That's why I find these photos interesting, it's to objectify the state.

We'll know.