AGENDA 1968

January 1968


06. January 1968 – Destruction of the physical Ego

I am no longer the same person! I no longer say the same things — it's impossible. Impossible. I have been looking at it; in fact this whole story has come back now as if to illustrate the huge difference — huge, but colossal difference in the state of consciousness. For me now, that [notation about Savitri] is such a personal vision of things.... Yesterday, I had an interesting day from that point of view.

It's the physical ego that has been destroyed and is now like this (gesture with arms open upward).... So it finds it odd! I don't know how to explain. This way of putting oneself in the center of things and seeing them in relation to that center of consciousness seems so... You understand, the consciousness is spread out; it's as much there or there as here, and it sees everything in relation to a higher, central Consciousness (Mother brings her two arms together, joining the tips of her hands above her head in a triangle pointing towards the Supreme), which is like a kind of Beacon — an immutable, all-powerful beacon throwing the same light on all things, without the least personal reaction of any sort.

And the last vestiges — yesterday they seemed to be the last ones, because of this text they had asked me to read... Naturally, when I speak I say "I" because it's the body that speaks, but it has no sense of "I," it... It's very hard to explain. Anyway, because of this affair, I said, "Ah, but how, how can that be said when it's not me? — There's no me, it's not me!" And at the same time, there was this Consciousness above, saying, "No personal reactions — there's no more 'me,' and if this must be done, let it be done." And for hours and hours, there was such a peculiar state in which everything... It was like kinds of vestiges, or pieces of bark, I don't know; pieces of something a bit hard or shriveled, which had crumbled and were turning into dust, and nothing, nothing but this Great Vibration (gesture like two great wings beating in the infinite), so powerful, so calm — the whole day. A sort of perception that life in a seemingly personal form like this one is only for action — only for action, for the requirements of action; and there must be no reactions, only the instrument acting — acting on the supreme Impulse, without reactions. And the perception was so clear that all, but all memories have been abolished, and are being increasingly abolished, so there may only remain a sort of... mass of vibrations organized so as to make you do what needs to be done in the whole for everything to be prepared and... (gesture of ascent) for everything to grow, to strive more and more towards... the transformation.

That makes speaking difficult, because of this old habit (maybe also a necessity to make oneself understood) of using the word "I" — "I," what's this I? It no longer corresponds to anything, except for a mere appearance. And this appearance is the only contradiction. That's the interesting point: this appearance is clearly a contradiction of the truth; it's something that still belongs to the old laws, at least, in fact, in its appearance. And because of that, you are forced to say things in a certain way, but it doesn't correspond — it doesn't correspond to your state of consciousness, not in the least.... There is a fluidity, a breadth, a sort of totality, and above all, more and more strongly the sense that this (pointing to the body) must grow INCREASINGLY SUPPLE — supple, fluid, so to speak, so as to express without resistance or distortion the vision — the real vision, the real state of consciousness. To the consciousness, this possibility of fluidity, of plasticity, is growing more and more evident, with only, only just something outwardly which... is increasingly becoming an illusion. And yet, yet that's what others see, understand, know and call "me." And it truly strives and strives to adapt more and more, but... time still appears to have its importance.

(long silence)

It's a curious state of transition.

10. January 1968 – Message about Truth

Now, there has come a message for February 29 [third anniversary of the supramental manifestation]. The message for the 21st is a jest, and this is the charitable explanation... which comes a week later!

Oh, it's very simple (Mother reads):

Truth alone can give to the world the power of receiving and manifesting the Divine's Love.

(Mother starts copying the message, then hesitates)

Isn't there an ambiguity? Should we put "Truth alone" or "Alone the Truth"?... When it comes, it's with such precision! But then, when it's put into words there's always something that sounds like a wavering. For a half-hour the other day, I sat there wondering, "Should I put it this way or that way?" For instance, the place of the word alone: The Truth alone, or Truth alone, or Alone Truth... to insist on the fact that Truth isn't alone, without anything else, without the collaboration of the rest, but that it's only the Principle of Truth that has the power to... I don't even know how to explain myself!

I don't mean that only Truth is at work, or that when it works it will work alone; I mean that its presence is indispensable (that's very roughly the nuance). To magnify the meaning, I might say either "Truth must work alone to do the thing," or "Truth alone is capable..." But then, it becomes heavy and impossible. And what we want is "Truth alone is capable," it's not that it works alone.

27. January 1968 – Mother’s message about her life in India

"The reminiscences will be short. I came to India to meet Sri Aurobindo, I remained in India to live with Sri Aurobindo, when he left his body I continued to live here in order to do his work which is by serving the Truth and enlightening humanity to hasten the rule of the Divine's Love upon earth."

31. January 1968 – The body consciousness

It's strange, I have suddenly been forbidden to speak, as it were, and... I don't know how to explain it, I feel as if I were talking from a distance. I don't know how to explain. And that's what has given me this husky voice (Mother's voice is a little hoarse). I think it's undergoing a sort of transformation. Previously, there used to be great control over the voice, the sound of the voice — it's all gone! It's as if I made something speak that's very far from me.

It will pass.

(silence)

And for everything, everything... there is a change in the MODE of being. For the nights too: the nights are very different — all that was organized, very regular, very organized, very conscious, and now it's all changed. And the consciousness... is, yes, constantly external to the instrument, like something like this (gesture above), very vast — very vast and supple — but constantly like this, night and day. Yet it's the consciousness of this (Mother touches her body), of the instrument. It's what was the body consciousness; now it's the same consciousness but it has become something very vast, very strong, and like this (same gesture above), as if at a distance from the body; it acts on the body like that, all the time, to make it move. And the body doesn't seem to be so confined to the form: it feels things some distance away, it touches things some distance away.

Strange. (Laughing) Something is going on, I don't knew what!

Instead of the consciousness being inside the body, it is the body which is inside the consciousness, yet it is still the body consciousness.