July 1970

01. July 1970 – Vision of Supramental Being

R. was here, just in front of me, kneeling, and I saw her psychic being towering above by this much (gesture about eight inches), taller. It’s the first time. Her physical being was short, and the psychic being was tall, like this. And it was a sexless being: neither man nor woman. So I said to myself (it may be always that way, I don’t know, but at that time I noticed it very clearly), I said to myself, “But the psychic being is the one that will materialize and become the supramental being!”

I saw it, it was like that. There were distinctive features, but not very pronounced, and it was clearly a being that was neither male nor female, that had features of both combined. And it was taller than her, it exceeded her on every side by about this much (gesture extending beyond the physical being by about eight inches). She was here, and it was like this (gesture). Its color was… this color that, if it became very material, would be Auroville’s color [orange]. It was softer, as if behind a veil, it wasn’t absolutely precise, but it was this color. And there was hair, but… it was something else.

This creation gives you a clear impression that nothing is arbitrary, that there is a sort of divine logic behind, which isn’t like our human logic, but highly superior to our logic (but it exists), and that logic was fully satisfied when I saw that.

So then, I understood why the mind and the vital were sent away from this body, and the psychic being was left (naturally, it was the psychic being that governed all movements earlier, so it was nothing new, but there were no more difficulties: all the complications coming from the vital and the mind, which add their imprints, their tendencies, it was all gone). So I understood: “Ah, that’s it, it’s this psychic being that is to become the supramental being.”

I had never bothered to know what it looked like. But when I saw that, I understood. And I see it, I still see it, I have kept the memory. Its hair almost looked red, strangely (it wasn’t like red hair, but it looked like it). And its expression! Such a fine expression, gently ironical… oh, extraordinary, extraordinary!

And the psychic is precisely what lives on. So if it materialized, it means doing away with death. But “doing away”… what’s done away with is only what’s not according to the Truth, that’s what goes away — all that’s incapable of being transformed in the image of the psychic, of being part of the psychic.

04. July 1970 – Mother’s Body

The body has itself reached that point, it finds it very difficult to feel a separate existence for itself, and (laughing) curiously that’s only (Mother touches her cheek), only when it’s in pain. For instance, I constantly have a toothache, here (this area as I told you [Mother points to her mouth and throat]), and that’s it, it’s the only thing that gives me the sense of being “my body” It doesn’t feel separate. So I think that’s the natural condition for the normal development.

You understand, the impression of “feeling” in a certain way, of “thinking” in a certain way, all that has completely vanished: you receive indications — sometimes of the way this person feels or that one reacts — but that’s when a work needs to be done: it’s an indication, and it’s something taking place there, like this (gesture around, some distance away), it’s not within.

No, I looked several times: I’ve always had the impression that things are fine (I mean for you), that the progress is quite fine. You’re on the way. It’s all right. And I find a great change…. There’s only one corner, maybe of the speculative mind, that still has an attitude of its own — high enough in the mind, not an ordinary mind, a mind… (gesture above). But that’s nothing.

But it’s rather strange, I could put it this way: it’s about the only part (gesture from the cheek to the chin) that’s conscious of the way people are and of what comes from them, and which still has reactions we could call “personal.” That is to say, if the atmosphere is troubled, well, there’s disorder [in that part in Mother], it’s subject [to the outside disorder] and that seems to be the only part. Otherwise, all the rest is… as if bathed, constantly bathed in the Divine, and automatically everything goes to the Divine. The divine Will goes through (gesture of descent and diffusion through Mother) and causes it to act — automatically. So then, at certain times, for some reason or other, the body calls (the mantra I told you), and as a result… (gesture of dilation) suddenly the cells go into a bliss — it only lasts a minute (not even a minute, a few seconds), but the simple fact of saying that, and it’s bliss. Afterwards, everything starts up again (gesture indicating the normal rhythm).

I think (the other day you told me something was wrong in your body), I think that on those spots that aren’t yet on the way to transformation, there’s an increase, as though a concentration of the difficulty: one feels more ill at such spots.

The only possible thing is… (Mother opens her hands) the peace of total surrender, like this (absolutely flat gesture, vast, immutable): come what may. There. Then things are fine.

I noticed that if, on the trouble spot, one can establish that peace — a total peace, you know, the peace of perfect surrender: abdicate all preoccupation, all aspiration, all, all like this (same vast, immutable gesture), then it helps restore order.

Only, for people who don’t know that, appearances are misleading: they feel more ill, they have attacks, things of that sort. So they don’t understand anymore.

I had, countless times, the experience that when the body can catch hold of that attitude (completely, I mean, even beyond the aspiration to union or to transformation: THIS WAY [same vast gesture]), it’s almost miraculous, instantaneous. But with a wrong movement it comes back. It’s not established permanently — how do you manage to do that? I don’t know… Probably there should no longer be anywhere the presence of the possibility of a wrong movement. But that’s difficult…

You breathe, you eat, you… and it’s the Divine.

If I were to tell in detail what goes on, it’s absolutely wonderful!… For instance, while eating, when the body keeps its true attitude and the perception of the Divine presence in all things, and naturally in what it absorbs, and when it absorbs it automatically with that attitude, without any contradiction, everything takes place without any difficulty. To such a point that if the attitude “deteriorates” (whatever), things can go to… (gesture of choking) swallowing the wrong way, like that, in the space of a few seconds. It’s clearly a transitional period, but how long will it last? I don’t know… The harmony of the functioning is becoming… miraculous — miraculous. Only, it’s not automatic, it still depends on the attitude. It’s not something that imposes itself, it’s a consequence.

11. July 1970 – Rising of the Kundalini

This “rising of the Kundalini,” I had it in… I was still in Paris. It was before I came to India. I had read Vivekananda’s books about it… And when the Force rose, it emerged from the head through here (gesture at the top of the head); the [classic] experience was never described in that way. The Force came out and the consciousness settled here (gesture about eight inches above the head). So when I came here, I told Sri Aurobindo about it; he told me it had been the same thing with him, and that according to the teaching of [ancient] texts, you “cannot” live when that takes place: you die! So… (laughing) he told me, “Here are two who haven’t died!”

The consciousness has remained there (gesture above), it didn’t come down again; it’s there, its always there.

Here, slightly above the head (same gesture about eight inches), like this.

Whenever I try to know something, it’s always the same: everything stops and I listen there (gesture above), that’s where I listen.

And then, when I went back from here [to France, in 1915]… I did something deliberately: all the energies of the last center [at the base of the spine] were drawn up here (gesture to the heart).

But I felt centers BELOW the feet.

I felt a center below the feet…. There was one below the feet, one at the knees, one here (gesture at the base of the spine), and all of it (Mother gestures, drawing the energies upward), like this, drawn up, and it came here (gesture to the heart).

What I am conscious of is the Consciousness there (gesture above); that’s something unchanging. This (gesture to the forehead): blank. If it starts stirring, its very uncomfortable, but generally it doesn’t stir at all — one day it stirred for a few minutes, and it was extremely unpleasant. It’s like this (gesture like a motionless bar), blank: a blank feeling, like blank paper… This (gesture from the throat to the mouth) is the connection with people, and that’s EXTREMELY unpleasant, really extremely unpleasant (I can’t say), and materially it results in the deterioration of teeth and… Very unpleasant. Here (gesture to the heart)… I told you, all energies, from below the feet (Mother gestures as if pulling it all upward), all that was brought up to here. Here (gesture to the heart), it’s like a sun, always. It’s like a radiant sun: that’s where I work; that’s where I work from… But with the centers there (gesture to the base of the spine), all the energies have been as if brought up to the heart.

And that’s so natural… This and this (gesture to the heart and above the head), it’s so natural that I don’t even observe it anymore: it’s my way of being.

But the consciousness isn’t centered in the body, and the body is felt… almost like a transmitting pipe!

Grace-Light, that’s what is working, you know: the work being done through this [Mothers body] is exactly like that, it’s exactly like a Grace-Light. I liked that a lot. It’s exactly that.

You see, it’s a light with several degrees, and in the most material it’s slightly… it must be the supramental force, because it’s slightly golden, slightly pinkish (you know that light), but very, very pale. One of them (gesture pointing to another, higher layer) is white like milk, opaque — it’s very strong. And there’s another (gesture very high) which is white like… it’s transparent light. With that one, it’s strange: one drop of it on the hostile forces, and they’re dissolved. They melt like this (gesture before one’s very eyes). I said all that to Sri Aurobindo, he completely confirmed it. That’s essentially the Grace in its… (gesture very high) supreme state. It’s a Light… it has no color, you know, it’s transparent, and that Light (I have experienced that, I mention it because I know it), if you put it on a hostile being… it melts like that. It’s extraordinary… And then, in its “benevolent” form, as we might call it (that is to say, the Grace helping and assisting and healing), it’s white like milk. And if I want a wholly material action (but this is quite recent — it’s since this new Consciousness came), then in its physical action, on the physical, it’s become slightly colored: it’s luminous, golden with some pink in it, but it’s not pink… (Mother takes a hibiscus next to her). It’s like this.

Like Auroville’s flower. But I DELIBERATELY chose it as Auroville’s flower, for that reason. And my impression is that this is the supra-mental color: when I see beings from the supramental, they have… not quite this color… It’s not like a flower, it’s like flesh. But it’s like this (Mother points to the flower’s color).

But there is this Consciousness… all of a sudden, when you no longer ARE, when there’s nothing but That, this Consciousness there (gesture around the head), a slightly golden Consciousness, you REALLY get the impression of omnipotence and… And here you know NOTHING! Nothing, nothing at all, you can’t explain anything. All that is… what I call mental imaginings.

Now, when I am asked a question, nothing, nothing responds, and then all of a sudden the answer comes (gesture of descent) in words; but if I am not very attentive, prrt! nothing remains, I can’t even recapture the words… The consciousness of the answer is there (gesture above), it doesn’t budge, it’s always there, this consciousness, but the materialization of it is very fleeting.

25. July 1970 – Men’s Actions

The Divine does not see things the way men do... and does not need to punish and reward. All actions carry in themselves their fruit along with their consequences.

According to its nature, the action brings you closer to the Divine or takes you away from the Divine… and that is the supreme consequence.

So… you see in the universe the immense Movement drawing closer to the Divine, and how EVERYTHING, everything in it is like that [advancing towards the Divine]… I’d like to pass on to you my experience, it’s extraordinary!… Simply that.

It’s created in such a way, organized in such a way that EVERYTHING is like that, and every second (so then I understand; I understand movements I have felt in the consciousness, which I couldn’t explain to myself), it’s automatic and CONTINUOUS, every second (we divide it into seconds, but it’s continuous). So it’s going forward towards the Divine, towards the conscious identification with the Divine, or else going backward. The body had felt things it didn’t understand, because the consciousness was in a certain way, and some things were wrong (a very slight discomfort suddenly, you don’t know why) — that’s the reason. It explains everything, EVERYTHING. That way, the working of the universe is FULLY explained.

But all, all human conceptions fall away. It’s so simple! So simple. And this whole huge mental edifice people have built to try and explain falls to the ground.

It [the working] is automatic.

Automatic and universal. And I noticed it wasn’t something vague or imprecise: it’s exact, as if every element had its own destiny… One day you may take a big step backward, and the next day a big step forward. It explains the whole apparent confusion of the world.

Oh, suddenly I was lighter. As if a weight, a weight of Ignorance had been taken off from me.

It’s the precision, the exactness — it’s the Supreme Consciousness everywhere. We even have difficulty conceiving it, but its obvious… blindingly obvious.

25. July 1970 – Spelling Aurovilian

I write it with a single “I”.

Deliberately. (Laughing) It’s not French, it’s Aurovilian!

25. July 1970 – Mother’s Experience

I must say that two days ago, I had an experience (it was with R. again, she was here), an experience of the whole universe, like a general vision of an Immensity, and then, suddenly the consciousness seemed to become a point taking up no room, and that point was the Eternal Consciousness. But then, it was so strong! So strong… how all this, this whole unfolded universe was the result of this Consciousness (Mother shows a point). You understand, the consciousness here became this Eternal Consciousness (for a few seconds perhaps, I don’t think it lasted even a minute, but time had nothing to do with it), it was the Eternal, it was the Consciousness. And that experience already prepared something [in Mother], because the two were simultaneous; one didn’t abolish the other, the two were simultaneous: this Point that was taking up no room but was eternal, was everything, and at the same time, the unfolding [of the universe]. That was a very intense experience. Then there only remained this vagueness that is the “whole,” but it didn’t lose its impression of vagueness, that is to say, of something imprecise. Since that time, there has been something changed [in Mother]. And today, in this consciousness, when the answer came, it wasn’t the knowledge of “that” — it wasn’t the knowledge, it was the working. All of a sudden, I had BECOME the working. So then, I expressed it as best I could in this notebook… It had such simplicity, you know, a marvelous, all-powerful simplicity!

It gave me at the same time a sort of bodily experience of the universal movement of the return of the consciousness towards the Divine; and that… a perception that wasn’t mental at all, not at all, as if all the cells felt this movement, you understand, this movement of immense return towards the Consciousness.

It must be the movement of the universe towards the Supreme.

I must say that certain things contributed to the experience: in answer to certain questions, yesterday Z told me about the age of the earth, and how they have now managed to measure it (things that are the mental approach to the problem), and suddenly, when he spoke, suddenly there came this sort of union and… (what should I say?) almost a sensation, in the body, of the earth returning to the Divine Consciousness. So the conjunction, combination of all that resulted in this experience.

Previously when I used to have experiences (long ago, years ago), it was the mind that benefited more or less, and then it would spread it, use it; now it’s not like that: it’s directly the body, it’s the body that has the experience, and it’s MUCH TRUER. There’s an intellectual attitude that puts a kind of veil or… I don’t know, something… something unreal on the perception of things — an attitude, it’s an attitude. It’s like seeing through a certain veil or a certain… something… a certain atmosphere, whereas the body feels the thing in itself, it BECOMES that. It feels in itself. It’s not as if the thing were taken like this (gesture of absorption in oneself), it’s as if the body itself BECAME that (gesture of bursting or expansion). Instead of shrinking the experience down to the individuals scale, the individual widens to the scale of the experience.

With the perception of space (which must correspond to something), things move away (in what I saw, my experience), they move away as if to follow a vaster curve in order to… That’s it: the move away is to broaden one’s horizon or field of action.

But the interesting thing (very interesting for me) is that the body was very preoccupied with all the difficulties of the transformation, and this experience has given it… I can’t call it a “joy” (it’s something infinitely superior and greater, stronger — it’s so immense!…), as if all the cells were dancing with joy. That’s the impression.

These last few days too, I wondered why the body is so absorbed in the difficulties of the transformation, and I received no answer, except to be patient and tranquil and not to fret — as always. But now I understand!… It can only be joyful in a certain atmosphere of truth; then… everything seems to broaden, to relax, and then there’s an extraordinary joy with no equivalent in the ordinary perception, none at all.

(Laughing) It’s a bit as if someone had taken my head and turned it around! (Mother turns her head upward). You know, this (gesture above) is where the Consciousness is, so the head was taken and turned the right way! (laughter)

It’s limitations that create the sense of evil, of bad — as soon as you do away with the limitations, it’s gone.