AGENDA 1966

October 1966


05. October 1966 – To live from minute to minute

The spirit of organization, maybe not quite on an ordinary level but on a human one (maybe not just human, but anyway), the spirit of organization likes to have everything in front of it like a picture, and then to make plans, to organize, see: this comes here, that comes there.... All that is useless. We must learn to live from minute to minute, like that. It's much more comfortable. And what prevents things from being so is (I think) that it's exactly contrary to the reasonable human mind, and that everyone around me expects me to make plans and decisions and... So there is a pressure; I think that's it. Otherwise, it would naturally and spontaneously be like that: the miracle every minute. My tendency is always to say, "Oh, don't worry! The more you worry, the more difficult you make things — don't bother, don't bother." But they stare at me with a kind of horror (Mother laughs): I don't "plan ahead," you see.

12. October 1966 – The region of white light

Even now, as soon as I remain quiet with you when you are here, there is always a sort of limitless immensity, with such a pure, tranquil light.... And it's white, but a white that might have some blue in it, but so pale that it's white. Théon gave a name to this region (he had special names for all those regions), I don't remember, but above it, there were only the regions he called "pathetism" (quite a barbarous name), which were regions belonging to the unmanifested divine Love. I myself experienced the passage through all these regions, and this one [the region of white light in which the meditation took place] was the very last belonging to the light... I don't recall, he used to put together all the regions of light, and then, beyond them, the regions... basically, they were regions of divine Love, but unmanifested, that is to say, not manifested as it is on earth. Those were the last regions before reaching the Supreme. And this one [in the meditation] was the last one belonging to the essence of light, that is, Knowledge. And it is... oh, there's such peace, such tranquillity and such LIMPIDITY in it — especially that sense of limpidity and transparency. A tranquillity that's more than peace, but it isn't inert immobility, I don't know how to express it. It absolutely gives the sense of a vibration of extreme intensity, but absolutely tranquil, tranquil, luminous, without... almost with a sense of motionlessness. And so limpid, so transparent!

But today... And limitless, you know, outside time, outside space — magnificent! The great, great repose.

Very pleasant. And absolutely silent, but conscious, very conscious, and in perfect tranquillity — light, light, light, nothing but that: the essence of light.

The ascending curve went beyond that, into those regions Théon had given that barbarous name of "pathetism." When one went beyond and entered those regions, then there was... it was the Supreme outside the creation, beyond the creation. That's where I saw the representative form of the new creation (and that was before I ever heard anything about Sri Aurobindo and the Supermind), that's where I saw the form that must succeed the human form, like the symbolic representation of the new creation. That was two or three years before I heard of Sri Aurobindo and met him. So when he told me about the supramental creation, I said to him (laughing), "But of course, I know, I saw it up there!"

No one had told me anything. It's only when I went to Tlemcen that Madame Théon told me what it was. She knew how to go through all the states of being, from one to the next, and on to the next... leaving the body corresponding to each state of being in its region and moving beyond. So then, quite spontaneously and naturally, I learned to do it. And I did it there, that's how I saw this prototype, all the way up, all the way up.

Théon's teaching wasn't at all metaphysical and intellectual: everything was expressed in a sort of pictorial objectification; and as I said the other day about that vision [of the "birds"], it's a richer expression, less limited than the purely intellectual and metaphysical expression. It's more alive.

15. October 1966 – Durga’s surrender

Did I tell you the story of Durga?

It didn't happen recently; I can't recall if it was last year or the year before, at the time of the puja.

She surrendered. That is to say, she was perfectly independent in her movements and didn't feel the need to depend on anyone, and that year... I don't remember if it was last year or the year before — she used to come every year when I went downstairs for the puja darshan: I would go downstairs and she would come and stay there throughout all the pujas; since I came upstairs, we haven't been doing it anymore. But once, she came, and I told you what followed.

But it has made an enormous difference. People naturally didn't notice anything, no one, but it has made an ENORMOUS difference in the atmosphere.

I was still feeling it very strongly these last few days.

All those who do the puja sincerely (sincerely, of course, not mechanically but with devotion) always attract an emanation or a representation, a representative form, which is present at the puja and responds: it responds to the puja. Every family that worships Kali, for instance, has its own Kali. And it's true, they are little entities that aren't quite independent, but have their own lives. And in Durga's case, it was very clear. So when I say it makes a big difference, it's because now, in a general way, all those representations of Durga are themselves also in a movement of collaboration.

Naturally, all those entities were more or less spontaneously doing the Supreme's work, but... (how can I explain it?) without their having a conscious will: they did it simply and spontaneously, because they were beings of harmony, working harmoniously. But now, in Durga's case it's very clear — very clear: she is like this (gesture turned upward, awaiting the Supreme's Command). In her relationship with the hostile beings, in her legendary yearly battle (which is of course symbolic), she is like this (same gesture), eager to know the direction, the indication, the gesture to be made.

When Sri Aurobindo was here, every year at the time of Durga's battle, I used to receive from him the very clear indication of the aspect of the adverse forces that had to be vanquished and subdued. (It was very interesting, and I generally noted it down, but I don't know where all that has gone.) It went on like that for thirty years. And after his departure... there only remained the Supreme.

She would come, she was absolutely present during the six days of pranam downstairs. But now, since... I don't know (I don't remember because for me time isn't quite clear anymore, it no longer has the same value), but I remember it happened while I was walking for my japa. I told her there was something more important than that semi-religious recollection people have, that what was more important was the deeper nature of the Work and the choice of the adverse aspect (represented by a universal difficulty, or, at any rate, if we only consider the earth, a human difficulty), the aspect that had to be vanquished, dominated in order to lead it to the transformation. And it's in this connection that I told her that receiving the indication from the Supreme was the true thing; that He saw better than we did what had to be done and the order in which it had to be done. And I felt... (she was very concrete [Mother makes a gesture as if Durga was in her]), I felt she was immensely interested. Then I told her, "Well, you see, hasn't the time come" (I am putting it into words, but there weren't any words), "hasn't the time come to receive from Him the direct impulsion for your action?" And she responded joyfully and spontaneously.

The difference is that, now, wherever she manifests, I feel the call to the supreme Truth, to manifest it, is truly there.

22. October 1966 – Don't be afraid of illness; Crazy World

Not be afraid of falling ill! That's what.

You see, they say, "But I AM ill." They put it the other way around: they say they're ill, and so they are afraid. It's not true! They are afraid first, and then they fall ill. They constantly live with a sort of apprehension: "Oh, what's going to happen?" So something happens! (Mother laughs) The poor body feels that's what is expected of it, and it obeys!

Yes, ninety-nine people out of a hundred are like that. And it's more or less subconscious, meaning it's not a thought they have quite clearly, so they tell you, "No, that's not true!" — they aren't aware of it, they aren't aware of what goes on inside them.

You feel as if the whole earth has gone half crazy. And with their new inventions, it can result in odd phenomena.

But since the beginning of this century and up till now, the change that has taken place on the earth — in the realms of thought, activities, products, inventions — is fantastic! It's so fantastic that things dating from the beginning of the century appear antiquated, as if they were almost two hundred years old. It's strange.

Things are clearly moving fast.

People seem to be rushing towards... As if they were rushing ahead without knowing why, and at the end is a great big hole!... I don't know what's going to happen.

29. October 1966 – Particular states of consciousness; I was Buddha

They are particular states of consciousness that grew precise and were expressed particularly well in certain individuals at certain moments — it's not during the whole life of a whole individual, it's not that: it's states of consciousness that reached the height of their formation and intensity at certain moments. And then, it all comes back like a big merry-go-round (Mother draws a circular dance above her head and around her), all the time, through all times and all countries. The photo catches it, and when it comes to me, when I see it, I seem to be looking not at all at this person [Mother], but at someone I have known quite a lot, someone I have known quite well: "But of course, it's you, no doubt!" But I can't put a name.

Yes, it's like a merry-go-round of all the moments when the Consciousness manifested in people. It's very interesting. The body is now growing very impersonal.

Once at the balcony, I was Buddha, absolutely! It lasted a minute or two. And quite a few people told me, "Oh, you were Buddha." If a photo had been taken, it would have been visible.

But it comes constantly like that, like a sort of merry-go-round of people coming by (same gesture of a round dance), and hup! they manifest and go away, hup! they manifest and go away.... And in those photos, I have several times recognized someone, but without being able to put a name.

But this (Mother looks at the photo again) is a man, I am sure it's a man, and I have a feeling that if he wasn't an "official" scientist, he was a man who had a science, a very intimate and keen observation of things. And it was a moment when that consciousness of observation was at its highest. They caught it with the photo; the next minute it would no longer have been there. He is almost saying something, expressing something (Mother shows Satprem the photo): see the mouth. It's very curious.

It's amusing.

But from that point of view, the body is growing very impersonal. It's like with my hands: it has never been as spontaneous and complete as it was yesterday — I can't say I no longer had hands because there was no "I" anymore. That's how it is, something comes (something from someone: an idea, a force, a movement, an expression), poff! and it becomes this [Mother's body, or her hands in this instance]. And it was very joyful and very sweet: there was a sort of joyful charm, very young. Half an hour before, I didn't know I was going to play: it came just like that. And it wasn't "to play," there was nothing serious or important, none of that existed: there only was something very young, very lively.

It's a phenomenon that's growing concrete. There are all sorts of... they aren't people: they are states of consciousness that expressed themselves or maybe even took a precise shape in the lives of all kinds of people; some of them are quite known to me: I have seen them often, they come back often and I know them very well — I can put names to them. But these states of consciousness weren't exclusively in this or that person: they were in many people and in many ages.

And it's more and more often like that. I think it's to make the [cellular] aggregate more supple, to give it suppleness.

(silence)

Sri Aurobindo wrote somewhere, I don't remember in what connection, that in a certain state of consciousness one had the power to CHANGE THE PAST. I found that very striking.

Because it's an experience I've had several times, and with all this work I am doing now, I understand better. You see, what seems to be perpetuated or preserved isn't individuals: it's states of consciousness — states of consciousness. Those states of consciousness manifest through many individuals and many different lives, and those states of consciousness are what progress towards a more and more luminous perfection. There are now, at present, all kinds of "categories" of states of consciousness that come one upon another in order to be put in contact with the Truth, the Light, the perfect Consciousness, and at the same time they have retained a sort of imprint (like a memory) of the moments when they manifested.

There is a big work of transformation of the material states of consciousness going on: the states of consciousness nearest to the Inconscient, the most material states of consciousness. They come like that [to present themselves to Mother], with one or two examples of their previous manifestation (perhaps even their first emergence from the Inconscient), and then I see the transition (along with what has transformed them, changed them or even simply altered them through successive manifestations), the transition up to the point when they are now presented before the supreme Consciousness for the final transformation. This is a perpetual work, so to speak, because, interestingly, it's a work I can go on doing while seeing people. Generally my work was interrupted when I saw people, because I was busy with them and that diminished and limited the work: they represented a small aggregate of difficulties that enormously shrank the Action [of Mother]. But now it's no longer like that. And the interesting point is that it places people in this or that "curve of transformation" of the consciousness. For some time I have been seeing a considerable number of people I had never seen before (with all the old or familiar people there was no difficulty, but with the new ones it generally caused a shrinking of the work), and now with this "study" of states of consciousness, people are placed: here, there, here (Mother draws different levels in space). And if they are receptive, they must go away [after seeing Mother] with a new impulse to transform themselves. Those who aren't receptive just miss it; but they are no longer a disturbance: they come in and go out. And from that I know what state they are in — I can even do it with photos, but when I see people it's much more complete. Photos are no more than one moment of their being, while here, even what isn't being manifested is there, hidden behind, and can be seen, so I see the person more completely. It's very interesting. It transforms this whole burden of visitors into something interesting.